Tuesday, 30 June 2009


Another post in the "My life is a song title" series

#2 Tomorrow

Tomorrow I go to the neurologist for the results of the MRI from a few weeks back. Until last week I was pretty cool with the waiting, but then the countdown started. Every day has seen me becoming more anxious. And finally... it's only a day away!!

Some of my nearest and dearest will be surprised that I picked this song. They know of my phobia of the musical "Annie", stemming from an unfortunate vocal performance at the Kempsey Eisteddfod circa 1987ish. Maybe it wasn't that bad, but it felt bad, and embarassing. Thankfully there is no video evidence that I know of.

When I started My life is a song title I secretly hoped that it would be a version of High Fidelity. I think this post crushed that dead.

Sunday, 14 June 2009

My life is a song title

I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

Early this year I visited a neurologist who told me I have "probable MS (multiple sclerosis)". He meant that I had experienced one episode of sclerosis on my optic nerve. That's what this was. He said that it might be 10-15 years before I have another episode, or I might be one of lucky ones who never experience another episode. It's not official MS until there is more than one bout. He recommended 6 monthly MRIs to keep a check on things.

Until a month ago I was sailing along, trying not to dwell on the what if's, although there were moments of worry about what the future would hold. Mostly I feel grateful that MS won't kill me, and that we have time to make decisions and plans.

Then I developed a numb patch of skin on my leg, near my hip, and then lessened sensation down the front of my thigh. I went to the GP who thought we should contact the neurologist. Referred for brain and spine MRIs, which happened on Friday. Now I'm waiting until my appt with the neuro on 1st July for results. Back to waiting again.

I'm in a swirl of emotion. Fear, anxiety, frustration, with occasional joyful moments. I'm also exhausted. Not in a sleepy way, in a heavy can't-do-anything sort of way. It doesn't matter if I sleep 10 hours overnight and have an afternoon nap, I'm still tired. It's depressing.

I have incredibly supportive family and friends. I have been in contact with a friend who has MS - she has been really helpful. I have been a frequent visitor to the MS Society website, which is a great source of reliable information. I have been lurking at MS forums and checking out blogs about living with MS, but those people are at a different place in their journey, and all the reading in the world is not helping me with mine.

So the song title is my life right now. I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Things I know

I love reading Yay for Home, especially the "Things I Know" posts. Here is my attempt.

Things I Know...

Reading is one of life's pleasures.
Watching my children develop their language and reading is amazing.
We have many, many books. Almost too many.
There is no such thing as too many books, we just need inventive storage ideas.
Cold grey Sundays are perfect for veg soup lunches and afternoon naps (for me!).
Shouting "BE QUIET OR YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE" does not work.
The Strawberry Shortcake movie is terrible, but it keeps A & J quiet for a while.