Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Time passing

I remember thinking, when my first baby Amelie, was born that I would be sad when she left one stage (snugly newborn, giggly 3 month old, sitting, toddling etc) but in reality I haven’t felt sad, mostly excited about the new things she learns everyday. Then Juliet came along and it was the same, joy at her new discoveries. When Euan was born, I really didn’t have that much time to ponder these things with 3 children to care for.

Euan is now 19 months old and we have arrived at a point where we have decided that there will be no more babies. Now I am in awe of the individuality of each of my three children, and their unique talents but as Euan grows and passes his milestones I feel sad to be leaving the baby days behind.

My salve, for now, is breastfeeding. I can clear out the boxes of baby clothes and paraphernalia, saving a few precious keepsakes for each child, with mild sadness. Breastfeeding gives me a few quiet moments with my otherwise rowdy toddler, when he will cuddle and look into my eyes. Then he is off again, continuing his exploration of the world.

We will keep going as long as we are both happy to continue. I’m hoping we still have a while to go. I’m not ready to let go of the breastfeeding stage yet. It seems that for us, it will be one of the last vestiges of babyhood before boyhood.

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